Sleep Paralysis and Depression

Where to begin? I'm trying to remain positive, and follow my little bit of advice about life is not about suffering and blah blah blah, but it's been hard lately. The other night I had a terrible episode of sleep paralysis where it felt like I was being possessed by a demon. It was just awful. I'm also feeling really down about Carl, as suddenly I miss him, and he's not giving me any attention. Apparently he's mad at me or something. I don't know, but it sucks. I need him around. Add into this equation confusion about my life and how I can make it go in the direction I want it to, and you'll have a really fucked up head that is not too happy. I'm letting my apartment fall to shambles again, I'm eating like a deranged maniac, and I'm not taking care of my body in other ways. It's all bad. I need to fucking buck up and get over it. Live life, baby. If Carl wants to be around, he'll be around. If you keep your life and mind organized, you probably won't stress as much about the future because it will be easier to plan. Your brain probably won't freak out so much at night time, too. Pull it together, girl. You've got one chance to live this life, so just do it.